Evil Villians United
by Dragon Rider of Alagaesia
Summary: Join GalbatorixInheritance Series, Darth VaderStar Wars, and SarumanLord of the Rings, as they have their next S.T.U.P.I.D Meeting Sly Tyranny United People in Defense. Fun filled Randomness of a crossover in stories comedy! READ AND REVIEW!
1. Meet the Villians

Author's Comments: This will make more sense if you read my other story "Eragon, Murtagh, and their Goofy Adventures". AHAHAHA!!! I am sooo obsessed. I wondered one day what it would be like if the evilest of evil had meetings…..diabolical is it not? Hehehehe……..so READ AND REVIEW!!!! Enjoy my newest pointless, random, silly, and pretty stupid story on the evilest of evil bad guys….Galbatorix(Inheritance Series), Darth Vader(Star Wars), and Saruman(Lord of the Rings)!!! DUN DUN DUN(evil huh?)….lol

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At the international headquarters of S.T.U.P.I.D (Sly Tyranny United People in Defense)

Galbatorix passes out a couple vanilla folders around the table

Galby: Welcome to this year's intergalactic/international STUPID meeting! Well gentlemen, my evil rule has been extra evil since we have recently had another rider in the kingdom. I personally think he is a total dipstick though….he even sucks on his thumb when he sleeps….

Saruman: I know what you mean Galby. I was badly offended when my friend Gandalf wouldn't join the dark side with me……and I even tempted him with cookies!

Galby: Amazing! How can ANYONE resist cookies?!?

Saruman: Yeah, they were chocolate too…..

Galby: No way!

Saruman: Way!

Galby: No way!

Saruman: Way!!!

Darth Vader starts coughing through his mask and pulls out an inhaler to stop it.

Darth Vader: Oh shut up you two! Saruman! The "dark side" is MY logo!?! OKAY?

Saruman: See?! THAT'S why you don't have any friends Vader! Because you always have to be so selfish!

Galby: I couldn't agree more!

Darth Vader: Hey! I have LOTS of friends….. Besides I'm not nearly as selfish as YOU Galby!! You're just a spoiled palace brat!

Galby starts crying and holds his teddy bear close.

Galby: AM NOT!!! AM NOT!!!

Galby jumps up and down throwing a tantrum like a spoiled baby.

Galby: WAAAHH!!! I want my Mommy!!!

Darth Vader: ARGHH!! Would you please shut up?! We really need to get this S.T.U.P.I.D meeting going…

Galby sits down showing no trace of his childish tantrum.

Galby: Of course gentlemen. I do believe it was my turn. As I was saying the new rider "Eragon" was pestering me dearly sooo I invited him to my New Year's Party!!

Saruman: You invited your enemy to your party?!?

Galby: Yep! It was going great too…..until he brought that stupid elf with him!

Saruman: I can't STAND elves!!! They are like so snobby!

Galby: Tell me about it….then I almost gave away my deep dark secret by accident to them….

Darth Vader: Really?!

Saruman: No way!?

Galby: Way! They….they…..almost saw….me…..with my…my..teddy weddy!!!

Saruman: Get out!

Galby: Yeah…it was like a nightmare….so after that I decided to get dirt on Eragon as revenge…

Darth Vader: Let me get this STRAIGHT….you are going to put DIRT on him?!?

Galby: It's just a phrase Vader…..

Saruman leans over and explains it to Vader.

Darth Vader: Ooooooh. Never mind!

Galby: Yeah…so I have this tape that shows a terrible secret about Eragon…

Saruman: Really?!? Wowie…show it to us! Show us the horrible secret….I bet he doesn't wash his hands before dinner, or maybe he went to the principle's office in school, or I bet he works a part-time job at a lousy fast food resteraunt….AHAHA!! SHOW US THE TAPE!!!!

Galby pushes the video into a VCR and smiles evilly. They all look at the screen in terror and gasp in fright.

Saruman: NO! It can't be….it can't…..that is hideous!!!! AHH!! MY EYES!!! THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR!!!

Darth Vader: I can't believe it…..it's too horrible to bear!!!! AHHH!!!

Both run around in circles because what they had seen was the most disgraceful thing anyone could ever do….they saw Eragon…..HUGGING A KITTEN!!

Galby: I TOLD you! That was the mean old lion at my party!! And Eragon actually touched it!!! That is sooo gross!!!

They start to settle down but still feel the weakening effect.

Saruman; How can he stand to touch something so CUTE and FLUFFY?!?

Darth Vader: Isn't Galby's teddy bear cute and fluffy?

Galby: Now, now Vader. That's COMPLETELY different!

Saruman: Yeah, he's right on that one…..

Vader: Is it my turn yet….I have the evilest story to tell….

Galby: Oh I suppose so Vader…but make it quick…..

Vader: Well it all started when I woke up this morning…..

EIGHT HOURS LATER……..

Vader:…..and then I went back to see the flower that Obi-Wan said looked evil but I said it was CLEARLY just his imagination…..so what do you guys think?

Vader looks at both of them angrily to see them snoring….He quickly gets a marker out and draws on their faces waiting for his evilly evil plan to go into effect…

Darth Vader: MWAHUAHAHAHAHA!!!

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Authors Comments: Will Vader find out the true intentions of that flower? Will Galby use his dirt against Eragon? Will they both wake to find stupid looking mustaches on their faces? Join us in our next chapter of S.T.U.P.I.D Meetings!!! LOL


	2. Mission in Alagaesia

A/N- Chapter 2!!! Thanks Princess of Chaos for the suggestion. I will have more characters added. Where were we? Oh yeah, Vader had just drawn mustaches on his fellow S.T.U.P.I.D members……….

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Chapter 2: Mission in Alagaesia

Saruman and Galby wake up to see Vader laughing hysterically…..

Galby: What's so funny???

Vader hands them each a mirror.

Galby: ACK! MY FACE!! MY BEAUTIFUL ROYAL FACE!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!

Saruman: HEY! I DON'T HAVE A MUSTACHE!!! AND WHY DID YOU GIVE ME LONG EYELASHES!!!! ARGHHHH!!!

Darth Vader laughs at them while they both rush to find a sink. Suddenly someone walks in. The person is none other than Catwoman(Batman)!!!

Catwoman: Is this a bad time?

She looks at the two washing their faces madly while crying like whiner babies.

Darth Vader: Nah! They just….uh….had an urge to wash their hands…….

Catwoman: Riggghhhht…….

Galby and Saruman finally get all the ink off their faces and turn around to see the newcomer.

Galby: Why are YOU here??

Catwoman: I want to apply to be a member!

Saruman and Galby: NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!!

Darth Vader: Yeah! And take those stupid cats with you!!

Catwoman: WHAT?!? DON'T TALK TO FLUFFY LIKE THAT…you….you….ANIMAL HATER!!!

Darth Vader: No! No…it's not true! I LOVE animals…..see?

Vader holds out a snake and pets it lovingly.

Catwoman: Ewww! That's repulsive…snakes aren't cuddly and cute!

Darth Vader: All the more reason to like them!

Darth Vader sticks his tongue out of his mask at Catwoman.

Galby: We DON'T need a GIRL getting in our way!

Catwoman: Hellooo?!? You are all idiots! I'm the smart one. You're just lucky to even get an offer from me. I can beat you anytime and anywhere!

Darth Vader, Saruman, and Galby all get in a circle and talk it over.

Catwoman: Welll??? I'm waiting….

They finally all nod and reach an agreement.

Galby: We have decided to give you a chance…..even if you don't deserve it!

Catwoman: Great! So what will I be doing? Fighting one of you! Slaying a dragon! Saving a kitten from a tree!

Galby: Nahhh….none of those things….and don't talk about slaying dragons!

Darth Vader: You will do a mission from each of our worlds…and…..if you complete all of them…then and only then can you be a member of S.T.U.P.I.D!

Catwoman: YAY!! Where do I go first???

Galby: OOH! OOH! MINE! MINE!

All four of them jump through a time portal to Alagaesia…

Saruman: Nice place you got here…..is that a LEATHER throne???

Galby: Yep! Nice isn't it?

Saruman: I want a LEATHER throne……

Darth Vader: Well I don't! There is not a scrap of technology here….I bet they don't even get cable…..

Galby: Oh stop your whining Vader! Anyways, your first mission will be dangerous, evil, and challenging!

Catwoman: Okaaay…. So what do I do?

Everyone looks at Galby to hear the super hard mission.

Galby: First, you will dye Eragon's hair electric blue. Second, you will find out Murtagh's secret.And Third, you will take out my trash.

Catwoman: Wait! How do you know Murtagh has a secret?!? Annnd….why should I take out YOUR trash?

Galby: I DON'T know that he has a secret….that's WHY it's a secret…..and I want you to take out my trash because my trash taker out has taken a vacation to Neverland and he won't be back till Monday…

Catwoman: Ergh….okay…..I guess I'll get started…..

Catwoman runs off leaving the three evil bad guys by themselves…

Saruman: Soooo…..do you wanna order a pizza??

Galby: Sure, but get mushrooms on it!

Darth Vader: I want a salad on the side too!

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Catwoman finally reaches the Varden Campout and sees Eragon. She pops out of nowhere.

Eragon: AHHH!! GIANT CAT!!! HELP!!!!!

Catwoman: I'm NOT a giant cat….it's just a costume….DUH!

Eragon: Oh….uh….I knew that…I was just testing you….

Catwoman: Sure you were….anyways…this may seem like a weird question but can I dye your hair?

Eragon: Why?!? Are you a fangirl!?! YESS!! Murtagh said that I would NEVER get a fangirl!! I can't wait to tell him!!

Catwoman: Uuumm….well that wasn't what I was going for…but…..why not?...you still will let me dye your hair right?

Eragon: Sure!

Catwoman gets out a bottle of light blue and dark blue dye and dyes Eragon's hair electric blue.

Catwoman: Wow! You rock! It looks so retro!!!

Eragon: What does retro mean?

Catwoman: Beats me….but…it sounds cool!

Eragon: Yeah, it does! Let me go show Murtagh!

Eragon and Catwoman go to see Murtagh.

Eragon: Howdy Murtagh!

Murtagh: Howdy?

Eragon: LOOK! I HAVE a fangirl that you DON'T have!!! MWAUHAHAHA!!

Murtagh looks at her shocked.

Murtagh: Wha-? NOOOO!!! Why would anybody like YOU? You are such a dipstick Eragon!

Eragon: I get that a lot!

Murtagh: Why is your hair blue?

Eragon: My fangirl dyed it….isn't it retro?

Murtagh: What's retro mean?

Eragon: Beats me!

Murtagh: Oh, well at least it sounds cool…

Catwoman and Eragon: Yep!

Catwoman: Murtagh, whats your deep dark secret?

Murtagh: What secret?

Catwoman: Weeell….I don't really know….but you must have one…..

Murtagh thinks it over.

Murtagh: Well now that you mention it…I do have a deep dark secret….

Eragon: Really?

Catwoman: What?

Both: TELL US!!

Murtagh: Okay, okay! I……

Both: You what?

Murtagh: I….I'm…..I'm allergic to chocolate!!!!

Eragon: NO!

Murtagh: YES!

Eragon: That's HORRIBLE!!!!

Murtagh gets out a tissue and blows.

Murtagh: I know…it's just absolute torture…especially when I have…..have……suger-cravings!!

Eragon: I had NO idea! I'm soooo sorry Murtagh!!

Murtagh: It's okay Eragon… Some things just can't be helped….

Catwoman: You both are sooo weird…..but….thank you for your…..umm…….help of a sort……bye!

Eragon: Bye my only fangirl!!

Murtagh: Don't start bragging Eragon. You may have one, but I have 908,009 fangirls….so HA!

Eragon: Meanie Head!

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Catwoman heads back toward the evil castle of Galbatorix….

Catwoman: I'm baaaack!

Galby: It's about time! Have a slice of pizza! Did you get the mission done?

Catwoman: Yeah, and Murtagh's dark deep secret….is…..he's…..allergic to chocolate!

All: NO WAY!

Catwomanl: WAY!

Galby: Poor dude….it ALMOST makes me feel bad for him…..but JUST almost……

All: Yeeaahhh……

They all start eating the pizza madly…

Darth Vader: Well, I guess it's my kingdom next!

Catwoman: Bring it on!!!

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A/N- Hehehehe…….stay tuned for chapter three when Catwoman has to take on Vader's Challenge! Oh, and if you haven't read "Eragon, Murtagh, and their Goofy Adventures", then I suggest you do before reading this story so it will make more sense…..READ AND REVIEW!!!


	3. Galactic Star Wars Mission

A/N- hehehe…..have fun reading the next chapter of my outrageous parody…READ AND REVIEW!!!

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After the STUPID members ate their pizza they went in the time portal to Darth Vader's whacked out Star Wars world……

Darth Vader: Mmmmm….Home Sweet Home!!

Saruman and Galby: AHHHHH!!!!!

Saruman: OH NO! MODERN TECHNOLOGY!!!

Galby: YEAH! AND THERE ISN'T A TEDDY WEDDY ANYWHERE!!!

Vader: Oh stop complaining you two! It's time for Catwoman's next mission. MWAUHAHAHA!!!

Catwoman: You have a geeky laugh….

Vader: DO NOT! DO NOT! It's just…..just…….evil…..IT'S JUST EVIL!!!!

Vader sobs and looks away before continuing….

Vader:….Now….where was I? Oh yeah. First you shall go to Luke Skywalker and his Fiancé and you shall…heehee….make a horrible blemish in her perfectly silky skin….MWAUHAHAHA!...Then….you shall go into the past in the Old Republic and steal Yoda's favorite pogo-stick. And last you shall do…..my laundry!

Catwoman: Okaaaay…..but what is it with you evil dudes and chores?!?

All except Catwoman: Er….uh…….GET TO WORK!!!!

Catwoman walks out scowling as she goes on her first mission…..

Catwoman: Hey! You! Are you Luke's Fiance??

Mara Jade: Yep! I am! Do you want a lollipop?

Catwoman: Yeah! Ergh…I mean NO!

Catwoman pulls out a purple colored bottle and opens it on top of Mara Jade's face dropping the liquid on her sunset orange hair and making several huge and hideous zits on her face.

Mara Jade: EEK! MY BEAUTIFUL FLAWLESS SKIN!! YOU'RE A MEAN KITTY!!!

Catwoman: Is everyone this stupid?! Can't you see that this is JUST a costume?!? GOSH!

Mara Jade starts sucking her thumb and Luke walks in.

Luke: WHA-? Who are you…..and why is that cat purple?

He stares at Mara Jade confused.

Mara Jade: I'M YOUR FIANCE!!! You….are such an idiot Luke…..I can't believe I actually agreed to marry you…..

Catwoman: Hey, look who's talkin, Miss- oh look at the big kitty!

Mara: HMPH!

Luke: Ack! You're hideous! But……but…….I love you anyway…..pumpkin pie!

Mara Jade: I love you too…sweetums!

Luke: I love you more sweetie poo!

Mara Jade: No! I love YOU more bunny honey!

Luke: NOO! I love YOU MORE lovie dovie!!!!

Mara Jade: NO! I LOV-

Catwoman: ARGHHHH!! SHUT-UP! Nobody wants to hear that mushy lover talk!

Mara and Luke: We do!

Catwoman: I never thought I'd meet someone stupider than Eragon…but here you are….

Mara Jade: Did you say Eragon? His brother is SOOOO hot!

Luke: Hey! What about me?!?

Mara Jade: Well….I love you more….buuuut….you gotta admit….he IS hotter!!! Eragon's just a dipstick though…..like you Luke!

Luke: WAAAAHHHH!!!!!!

Catwoman: Ok……I guess I'll be going…NOW!

Catwoman runs off to the past of the Old Republic leaving Mara Jade and…..a…..kinda depressed Luke to babble on more mushy love names….

Catwoman: Whew! That was tense, I hope the past in Star Wars is more sophisticated….

Catwoman walks up to a group of Jedi….

Catwoman: Excuse me, do you know where I might find Master Yoda???

Anakin: Yep! He'll be down in a sec! I say, do you wanna lollipop?

Catwoman: Vader! Wowie! You're kinda handsome without the mask…….ergh…..I uh…..I mean…..no thanks…..what is it with you dudes and the lollipops?

Anakin: Weeeell….who DOESN'T love lollipops??????

Catwoman: You are soooo like you are in the future……

Before Anakin can reply Yoda comes bouncing in on his pogo stick cackling madly.

Yoda: Jump I do! Off I fall! To ground I fall!

Catwoman: Oh great……he really does talk backwards….

Yoda: Kitty is big, she is!

Catwoman: It's JUUUUUUST A COSTUME!!!!

Yoda: Slice you I will! My saber hurts, it will!

Catwoman: I don't have time for this…..

Catwoman knocks him off his pogo-stick.

Yoda: Mean kitty you are!

Catwoman: Whatever….

Catwoman runs back to the present with the pogo-stick…….

Catwoman: I'm baaaaaaack! I have the pogo stick!

Darth Vader: Excellent! I also know that you fulfilled your duty to give Mara Jade zits too!

Catwoman: How did you know?

Darth Vader: She sent me a lollipop with a wedding picture on it…..and she…..had zits all over her face….MWAUHAHAHAHA!!!

Catwoman: So, they still went on with their wedding……

All: Yep!

Catwoman: I'm really on a roll now! I'm ready for your mission Saruman!

Saruman: Or are you? Hehehehehe……..

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Will Catwoman complete her next mission and be the first girl in S.T.U.P.I.D? Join us in the next chapter of S.T.U.P.I.D soon!


	4. Mission in Middle Earth

A/N- I have never done a Lord of The Rings comedy before……so….this should be……er…..interesting to the fullest. Read and Review!

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Galby, Vader, Saruman, and Catwoman are now in Middle Earth. It only takes one more mission for Catwoman to become an official member….

Saruman: What did I tell ya Galby?! Isn't this better than your old stuffy Alagaesia?

Galby: No. The dragons here can't talk, the elves are just as snooty, and you let yourself be conquered, for the love of muffins!

Saruman: Is that the thanks I get for teleporting you here free of charge?

Vader: Hush up you two! Let's get this over with already….

Saruman: Fine, I will explain your deadly mission. First you will get a very special stone from the elves. Second you will get past the black gate of Sauron and plant the stone there. Third you will blame it on Aragorn, the king of Gondor. And third, you wi-

Catwoman: Let me guess, I will do another boring chore that you are too lazy to do.

Saruman: Well, I was going to say that will be invited to go to our secret super cool ball……..buuuut….if you insist upon other things then……I suppose you can just rake the bothersome leaves behind my palace.

Catwoman: Arrggghhh….well that's just great….

Catwoman poofs randomly somewhere else to finish what she started…

Vader: This place really needs to get a sturdy bridge in the dwarven cave, Saruman. After all you never know when a dark creature might pop up on those caves.

Saruman: You have no idea…….

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Catwoman pops up in the Rivendell, the treasured elven city.

Catwoman: Hmmm….nice place….I hope that it's better than the OTHER elves……..they were total weirdo's

Legolas: ACK! THERE'S A BIG KITTY CAT!!!

Catwoman: OsighsO uuurggghhhh……….look dude, it's just a costume….

Legolas: NO! NO! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME KITTY!!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!!

Catwoman: I'm not going to hurt you…..

Legolas: OH THANK YOU KITTY!!!

Catwoman: Your welcome! But only on the condition that you stop screaming.

Legolas: Okie dokie!

Catwoman: Why does it seem that all the elves are the same? At least you have pointy ears though….

Legolas: Why thank you kitty!

Catwoman: Whatever….. I just need your help. Do you have some sort of super cool stone that the evil Saruman might want?

Legolas: Oh! I think you mean the super cool jelly bean.

Catwoman: Suuuure, that's exactly what I'm looking for...

Legolas: Well okay! Here you go then kitty!

He tosses her a bright pink dragon egg.

Catwoman: WHAT?!? This is an egg you dimwitted tree hugger! Although……it does sorta look like a jelly bean.

Legolas: Yup! It IS a jelly bean!

Catwoman: Oh yeah? How do you know?

Legolas: Weeeell…….my spidey sense is tingling!!!

Catwoman: I'm surrounded by idiots…..

Legolas: I would have eaten the jelly bean…..It's just that I figured it was probably cotton candy flavored and that's totally icky!

Catwoman: Look, I won't tell any of your nice little fans that think you are a awesome heroic…..and intelligent hero that you are a TOTAL AND COMPLETE loser, as long as you don't tell your elf buddies about me coming here.

Legolas: Don't worry Miss Whiskers! I will just go play "Bounce the Cabbage" with them as usual!

Catwoman: Oh………um……how fun…….

She flees for the sake of her sanity to the black gate of Mordor.

Catwoman: Knock! Knock! Anybody in there???

An orc comes out and looks suspiciously.

Orc: Who are you? Why you look like cat?

Catwoman: Well, it's a costume. I have to deliver a very "special" gift to this lovely……erm….nice gloomy, dark, and generally creepy city.

Orc: Fine. First you say passoword.

Catwoman: Umm….is it…. "Stone"

Orc: No.

Catwoman: "Cheese"

Orc: No.

Catwoman: "Evil"

Orc: No.

Catwoman: "Sword"

Orc: No.

Catwoman: "Dragon"

Orc: No.

Catwoman: "Underwear"

Orc: What?

Catwoman: Teehee, just kidding. I think I've figured out the top secret password.

Orc: Then speak.

Catwoman: Is it…… "password"?

Orc: Yes. You are a purty smart cat.

Catwoman: Thank you! And you are…..uh……a nice little evil minion….

Orc: Thanks!

Catwoman: Ok.

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Catwoman comes skipping out happily.

Catwoman: YAY! I totally left that……stone, to those suckers!

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Orc1: What is that?

Orc2: I think it is big bean.

Orc1: Bean is moving.

The egg starts to crack and then hatches revealing a bright pink fluffy dragon with VERY adorable baby eyes.

Orcs: NOOOOOOOO!!!! AHHHHH!!! MERCY!! SHOW MERCY!! TOO…..MUCH……CUTENESS!!!!!!

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Darth Vader: Congratulations Catwoman! You are now an official STUPID member!

All: Yay!

Catwoman: Uh, yeah….about that…. I kinda realized how stupid you really were when I went on those missions…..sooo…..I have decided to join the "Sci-Fi" club instead….. They are more……well……more intelligent…. So..uh…SEE YA!!!

She runs out wildly with about a dozen cats following closely behind.

Vader: Well, at least we got those chores done!

All: Yep!

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